Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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