I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
