why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
