The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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