Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize