Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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