I hope my margaritas pass through security.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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