I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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