What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This toilet bowl is my home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
