i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
