Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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