Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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