guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
