Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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