Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
