girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
