my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
