I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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