in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
