Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
