i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
