butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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