so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize