Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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