Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
