508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
