I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
