Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize