Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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