yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize