in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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