new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
