we have pet lesbian snakes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
