New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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