Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
