her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
