He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
