see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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