he wants to bone in the snuggie
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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