His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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