She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize