If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
