he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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