im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
