id be glad to
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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