she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
