i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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