just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Still dying that you shit outside
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
