My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
