Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
