I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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