He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and she was petting her beer can
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
