if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
