Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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