maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
