he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
