we have pet lesbian snakes
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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