not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
