six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
