Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
